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Thursday, September 20, 2012

I'm a bad mom! Don't Judge!

     Every Mother whether we admit it or not has had many- what others would consider, "bad mom" moments.Ya know the moments, where you bribe your child to please be good while mommy is in here talking with this person and I'll let you pick a special treat, or letting your child keep the pacifier longer then the "experts" say. The bad part about it though is that none of us openly talk about it because we are all going to judge each other, and once again were human and it happens! However, it should not happen because were adults and we all, as mothers know that nothing about motherhood is perfect, easy, and if you have multiple children you understand every child is different in his/her own way and do their own thing! No matter how much we strive to be super mom and perfect, there are still those moments and sometimes entire days, where we loose it and need a break from our trying to be "perfect" role of mother/wife/working-mom & wife and there is NOTHING wrong with that!

     Yesterday, My friend Lynsey from Moscato Mom posted on her blog about being a bad mom and I immediately thought what is she talking about, because she is far far from a "bad mom", so I of course had to read. The post was about a picture that was posted from another site that had caused a lot talk, and from reading the original post a lot of controversy..The post originally is from Granola Babies and the picture states in writing "We do things differently and love our babies exactly the same, Lets Celebrate that!" However, there are always going to be those people that are judgemental and feel the need to exercise their right of freedom of speech, even if it is a ignorant opinion, but lets all face the facts, NO ONE does Motherhood the same as anyone else and where is the "manual" that we are all suppose to be following?

     Many women have been talking about the TRUTH about motherhood a lot lately, in books, television, and now taking over the web!  Many bloggers have started writing about the things that we do that, what others may consider "not the right way" and letting it be known that all mothers  do things differently and that's okay.. we should all be supportive of each other and the decisions that we are making to raise our children, because it all comes down to this, if we are making a decision for our children, that alone shows we care and love them, and all any child needs to be happy is to be loved and cared for and cared about, because there are many many children that don't have anything.. Its so sad that in a world where most of us internally feel that everyone should always be themselves, be real and true to your dreams and feelings, the truth is that you can't unless you want a constant battle and to justify your decisions and actions. There has now been a meme started by Life with Levi about being 100% honest on how you are a mother and raise your kids, and to know that it is okay because your child is happy, loved, safe, growing, and succeeding the way any child should , and its all because of you! :) So here goes!

I am a bad mom because:

- I was a teen mom at 17, but I graduated 5 days before I gave birth to our son, I am still with my children's father and have been for 10 years and married for 7 years, I have never been on welfare or government assistance, we own our own home , and work everyday for our future!

-We were not married when our son was born.

-I formula fed both my children from birth.

- Both my children slept on their stomachs and NEVER have slept in the bed with me, even when sick we sleep in the living room.

-I put infant cereal in my childrens bottle and fed them foods before I was "suppose" to

- My son had all his immunizations on time, every time.When I had my daughter
I was terrified of all the immunization side effects (circling the media at the time) and my daughter only had up to her 2 month shots and I decided to wait till she had to start school to get the required for her to start.

-Both my kids took cups or bottles to bed until they were 3.

- My daughter took a pacifier until she was 2 1/2

-My son is circumcised.

- I let my babies watch cartoons before the age of 2, and honestly :) its been used to keep them busy while I got some things done.

-Both of my children fell of of something, (bouncy seat,couch, bed,etc) when they started becoming mobile and was obviously more mobile then I thought.

-I have bribed my kids, with a special treat (special treat, candy, ice cream etc.)  to be good in the store (or anywhere, really!) or while I am on the phone/talking in person with someone so I could just get it done with out it being a long drawn out process.

-Both my children sleep with their televisions on during the weekend.

- I have yelled at my children.

- I do expect my children to be independent.

- I am very strict when it comes to doing good in school, staying focused on school, chores, etc.

-I expect my kids to use their manners and be respectful because they were taught to use them and I know they know them and how to use them.

- I let my children ride their bike most of the time without their helmet.

-Sometimes ya have to go dig through the laundry basket of clean clothes, cause I haven't got around to folding them.

-My kids have had chores since they were 4.

- I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I would have not got pregnant as a teenager.

- When shopping for stuff for the kids at school, I wonder if its right because I don't want them to get picked on.

- I absolutely love being a mom, but sometimes i hate having to "do" it. (cook, bathes, clean,etc)

- There have  been those stressful times where, I wish I only had me to take care of, instead of 3 other people, a house, bills, job, etc.cause most of the time, "me time" gets pushed to the bottom of the list.

    I am sure that many of us can go on and on with a list of things that we do while raising our kids that others would think were not right and made us "bad moms" but at the end of the day. Those people do not matter and the only people that do are the little people that we chose to bring into this world and help succeed in every way possible. I admit that when I was 17 and having my son I had no idea what I was getting myself into but now my 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter are the greatest thing that I have ever done and I am so proud that even though I make and made all those decisions above both my children are very happy, responsible, caring, intelligent, and well behaved and have anything and everything they need and want + much much more.. I wouldn't change any of the decisions I have made and will continue to make decisions based on what is best for my children as individuals, not what society thinks is right for every child! As long as your children are safe, happy, loved, and cared for you are doing your best! Don't let anyone tell you any different!!

     A really good book for all of us mothers is " I was a Really Good Mom before I had Kids" by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. It is all the truths about motherhood and what it really is like behind that perfect little picture we all have built in our heads. I guarantee there is something in this book for every mother and it also helps us quit judging each other and really start enjoying motherhood. The book has taking things from mothers all the world that they have problems with in motherhood or feel guilty about.. but hey its just Motherhood.. nothing to feel guilty about! One mother wrote into the book and said:

How true is this for many many of us mothers?

How do you feel about being a bad mom? link up with Life with Levi and share your a "bad mom" habits! Promise we wont Judge you cause were mothers too and know how raising children can be!

Everyone have a great day! The weekend's almost here!


Jen - Life With Levi said...

I feel the same way about "me" time. It's difficult to justify time away from Levi, but sometimes, even though I miss him, I'm glad to have time to myself when he goes to his dad's house.

Mommy34567 said...

I spank my kid. I stopped bf my son after a month. I yell at my son. I fell like my son' hole in his heart was because of me and I could have done more . He had surgery at 10 months. I let my son watch a lot of tv. I do say minor cuss words when he is around. I try to stop the really bad ones. He has fallen and hit his head as a baby a few times. I have had some shows on that I am watching that are not as good for him to watch. We all have faults. The first 4 months of my son's life I tried to survive with daddy gone. I had to let my son cry some. I do not let my son sleep in our bed. I am the best mom I can be.
Kristy Bodle. said...

Absolutely understand! Any time I do have "me" time I always think about stuff I should and need to be doing! but all of us as mothers and fathers need to me time to remember that we are people too not just mommys and daddys! Thanks for the comment! I love your blog btw! said...

Hello Kristy!! I dont believe any of this makes you a bad mom! We are all parents and every parent is different just like every child is different. All of us parent in our ways that best fit our family and our children. Im glad to see more women standing up and saying dont judge me because I am a great women and mother! Hope all is well with your family! Thanks for the comment!!